Sunday, December 6, 2015

Times to remember

today after a wonderful breakfast cooked by my amazing hubby our two year old needed a good amount of attention. He truly wanted us to be involved in everything he did and played. As overly tired parents we of course wanted to sit and enjoy our coffee and try and wake up a little bit more. But after quite a bit of persistence, the toddler wore us down. Out came the playdough (one of his favorites) and after awhile a game of catch and tackle with dad and a nerf football. Or as Micah calls it "offball game".

Sitting there watching the high energy boy run back and forth between "catching" and chucking a football and then running and tackling his dad on the ground I had to praise God. What a sweet sweet morning He has given us!! What an incredible memory for us to be able to look back on!!
Too often that "needyness" from a toddler can seem overwhelming. And it can add an extra strain on the exhaustion we already seem to be struggling with. BUT then God shows us that this truly is a sweet time of a little boy just wanting his parents to be with him. There may come a day that we desire to be involved but Micah grows out of it. It was truly a gracious reminder to savor these years. Thank you God. Thank you for this morning. Thank you for this sweet memory with our precious family. Thank you for these precious years that we are so near and dear to these little ones. Thank you God for helping us to look at them and not around them.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Micah is 2!!

I cannot believe how fast 2 years have gone!! Our baby boy is 2!!

Micah James, words cannot express the love we have for you. 
From the moment your dad and I found out we were going to be parents to that first ultrasound we were able to hear your sweet heartbeat for the first time. You captured our hearts in those first moments. And when we were finally able to hold you in our arms for the first time our love grew that much more intense. And it has only continued to grow ever since!

Your arrival into this world was a testimony in itself! Needing to be induced from uncontrollable diabetes and medication, you still took your precious time. I believe God had his own appointed day and time for your beginning and He gave me the strength to get through those 35 hours until you were born.

My boy, your heart is so sweet and your soul is so kind! Your personality has me smiling and laughing daily!! You ARE your father's son; a true character!!
I am thankful for each and every day The Lord gives us. And though I fail every single day, I pray to God for the wisdom in training you up in The Lord. I pray that I will be able to shepherd your heart and teach you truth; God's Word. And I thank Him daily for you. 
You are a blessing, and a gift from God!!

(Not to mention, world's best big brother)

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
Psalm 127: 3,4

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

God's time and not our own

The other day we recognized our baby girl turning 7 months old! Wow, that happened fast. It always amazes me how slow a day can go by, but before you know it another year has passed..

Oh the look of adventure! Not long from now she will really be on the move. Right now she reaches destinations through rolls, pivots and scoots, but soon I wont be able to take my eyes off of her for a second ;)

The other day a red button topic (for me) was brought up.. and not for the first time (nor the last). I am always shocked to hear the opinion of many that myself and my family are very busy (too busy). Which I wont deny that two children 2 and under definitely keeps me on my toes. And living in a house that we are slowly trying to renovate and put our own thumbprint on gives us a never ending list of projects. But honestly, I love it!! I never have a dull moment. And in this busy season of life God has given me many gracious reminders that I NEED my savior, Jesus Christ! But still people seem to feel the need to insert their opinion, whether it is that we need to be done having kids, that we need to wait awhile to have more kids, or just simply judging us for having two kids 18 months apart... I can only smile. It may seem undesirable to some but I absolutely love it!! And how could I not??

These two already love each other so much!! And what a blessing to have a best friend to grow up with!! I am so thankful to The Lord for these two. For preparing both mine and Spencer's heart for a second child so soon... and giving us a desire for more children to train up in Him. I honestly don't know when more children will come along. Sure we have our own timeline that is ideal... but we live knowing that God is in control. If he chooses to give us another baby before then we will rejoice. If He chooses to wait longer than our desire we rejoice. We are thankful for the babies He has given us. And we will continue to seek Him and pray about more.

For I know the plans I have for you, declared the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. 
Jeremiah 29:11-13

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Piper's birth

Early in the morning on Tuesday March 24th I wrestled with sleep as contractions started to set in. By 8 am I was constantly making trips to the bathroom... I knew this was it!!
At about 12:30pm my contractions were around 5 min apart. They were not the strongest, but seeing that they were getting closer together I wasn't sure how much longer I should put off going to the hospital. After yet another bathroom trip, Spencer asked if I was ready to head there. I thought, might as well! Worse case scenario: they send me home because I am not quite ready yet. When we got there they had done a cervical check. I was only 3 cm, but because my contractions were staying pretty consistent they advise that I stay there and they would check me in about 2 hours. 
By 3:30pm they admitted and said I was up to 4 cm!!... Now those that know my labor and delivery story with Micah (which was induced) would have their jaw drop at the fact I was already dialating without pitocin or anything!! With Micah it took about 20 hours of induction to get to 4 cm!
And not knowing if an epidural would slow the progress of labor down I wanted to wait until the contractions became almost intolerable. At 5pm the delivery nurse asked if I wanted it yet, or if I would prefer to wait another 30 min because around that time they would most likely be calling to see if anyone needed an epidural before they went home. So I figured I could hold out another 30 min.
At 5:30 pm the contractions really set in. But bad news, the anesthesiologist  was in a case! So I waited.... and waited... and waited...
At 7:15pm he FINALLY arrived! The contractions were becoming so intense, the pain would radiate in my back, hips, and down my legs. (Now to the women that do this without pain medication; props to you!) Once the epidural was in place (7:30 pm) it was almost instant relief! Now it was time for the nurse to do another cervical check... woo hoo 7 cm!! So they asked if I wanted my water broke since it wasn't breaking on its own. Ummm absolutely!! I want this baby out!!
The doc came in (This was the first time I had seen A doctor since we arrived) she broke my water, and almost instantly I was fully dialated and the baby's head was there.
It was a little after 8 pm when all of this happened and the doctor asked if I wanted to start pushing... Again with Micah, I pushed for 3 hours! So this time around I wanted to wait until things felt ready! Not too much later I asked if they were going to give me a catheter since I had an epidural and couldn't get up to go to the bathroom. As the nurse was going to place it I became overwhelmed with nausea. The nurse thought it might be that my blood pressure went to low from them laying me on my back and possibly cutting circulation off with the epidural. But when the doc came in she said it was my body getting ready to push. 
By 8:30 pm I was feeling a good amount of pressure down below and felt it was time to start pushing.. 1.. 2... 3 contractions (9 minutes) and our baby girl was born!!

8:39 PM
Piper Amelia Dawn Stillwell
6 lbs. 2 oz. 19.5 inches long

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Our little Tater Tot

I have been meaning to write about my pregnancy so far... 
18.5 weeks in, better late than never!

What a change this one has been. Aside from being sick in the first trimester I have honestly felt great! Praise The Lord!! By 14 weeks I no longer had to take any medication for my sickness, and I have felt more energized than ever!! Nesting has already set in, which is awesome! 

As for food cravings, it has mostly been salad, occasionally pickles, and every so often; french fries. My aversions have consisted of cucumbers, salsa, and recently gram crackers. Its just such a change from my pregnancy with Micah. But I have cherished both pregnancies equally the same. I absolutely LOVE being blessed with life growing inside me.
The movements are becoming more and more noticeable, and its a feeling that I am absolutely addicted to!

We find out in 2 weeks if it is a boy or girl! I am starting to count down by the days just so I see the number go down each day!! Spencer is certain it's a girl because of how opposite this pregnancy has been.. I have been inclined to believe the same. And because I have felt like its going to be a girl I am betting its a boy! haha. Either way, I am just excited to know. Then the burp rags, rag quilts, and room decor will commence!! :) And so will the countdown to meet little Tater Tot. 

For you formed my inward parts; 
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Psalm 139: 13-16

Just for fun I thought I would include a picture of my pregnancy with Micah at 18weeks.

yikes, what a difference!

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Our life in God's hands

Ever since Spencer and I announced our pregnancy with Micah, two of the most asked questions by numerous people are:

1.) How many are you going to have?

2.) When do you think you will start trying for the next one?

I have no problem with being asked these questions, in fact, I love it! The problem I have is most people don't ask because they are simply curious, they ask because they feel their opinion is best and needs to be placed in the conversation/ our lives.

Now don't get me wrong I am not claiming to be innocent. I have opened my mouth many times when it should have stayed closed. I have made suggestions that were never asked for, so on and so on. 

So to answer these questions for those wanting to know...

1.) I don't know how many we will have. As my husband says, we will take them one at a time, lol. I will take as many as the Lord sees fit to give me. I am beyond blessed to have Micah, and though I pray the Lord might bless us with more, I soak up every day I have with him! If this is the only one The Lord gives us, I am happy! If He chooses to give us plenty, I will be happy! I know it seems like a strange thing to those who don't believe or have faith in Jesus.. but I know He will give me the strength/ patience I need. Children are a blessing! They are a miracle, and a true gift from God.

2.) I will admit, Spencer and I have an ideal timeline for when we want to start trying, but the moment we start holding to that we are trying to live our own will and not The Lord's will. 
Despite what others tend to say about it being too soon, or too long of a gap between kids.. I know that God doesn't make mistakes! And better yet, His timing is ALWAYS PERFECT. All life was made when the Lord willed it to be.

That being said, no we are not pregnant right now lol. But when people ask when am I thinking about having another one, my response is: When the Good Lord sees fit.

Monday, March 17, 2014

My life's ramblings..

 I cannot believe how quickly these past 6 months have gone!!!

I was talking with my hubby yesterday about how amazed I am that the majority of my life I didn't even desire children. My mom and sis were convinced I would never have them. When I was 21 I said I was undecided about them, and when I was 23 I figured I would have them because that is what people do after they get married. At least that is the order I desired to do it in.
But when I was 24, The Lord saved me and did a huge change on my heart. I suddenly had the STRONGEST desire for a baby. I didn't even have a prospect for marriage!! Don't get me wrong, I wanted to find someone to marry to have children with, I wasn't desiring to be a single parent. And soon after, God opened that door for me. A blast from my past(s) was brought into the present yet again. My 18 year old crush. We had only been friends before and though we both felt stronger feelings for one another, any time it would head in that direction we would go our separate ways. 
Just goes to show it's all in The Lord's timing.
We began to talk, text, skype, what have you, while I was living in Texas and he was in Oregon. There was something there, but given our history I approached with strong caution. 
When I moved back to Oregon we would hang out, but I would remind myself to not get too attached. To keep a safe distance. But Spencer, for the first time, was pursuing more. After a month he asked me to be his girlfriend (kind of corny, I know. But I loved it) I remember being hesitant and before truly answering him let him know that I was done with dating. I had given pieces of my heart to too many people, I was saving what was left of me for my husband. He said he was too... but a wife, not a husband LOL. So we began our relationship. 7 months later we were husband and wife
Spencer wanted to wait a year before trying for kids, but I wanted children so bad it was like torture. I tried to be content and every day I prayed for The Lord to help me with waiting, to be content. 
My prayer was answered with a false alarm pregnancy. Though we were not trying, I developed symptoms that started making us think we might have conceived. It was at that point Spencer said he wanted to start trying if it turned out we were not pregnant. It only took 2 months and The Lord had blessed us with a baby!!
I have loved every moment since! Even with morning sickness the ENTIRE pregnancy, gestational diabetes that required medicine because diet alone could not control it. Gestational diabetes lingering so I have to continue with the diabetic diet. Sleepless nights, exhausted days, and an occasional messy house, I have never felt more at peace!! 
I pray that The Lord will bless me with more babies, but I am so thankful for the one he has given me. I cherish every minute I have with my hubby and baby!
God is good!!
And here we are, 6 months too fast
I am so thankful for The Lord and his work on my heart. I know there will be times that I fail, times I will wish I had done things differently.. But I fully trust God will get me through it all!! And yes I seek help and advice from those around me... and there is always the unasked for/ unwanted advice/ criticism I receive as well LOL. I just take it day by day and love it through and through.  :)
Micah James 6 months old, 16lbs 4oz 26 1/4 inch long
Loves to eat his rice cereal with water and applesauce, and has started to enjoy pureed carrots in the mix. And still a very efficient nurser. He rolls over onto his belly constantly, says "dadadada" and looks like he will start crawling any day. Still no teeth, but definitely teething! His hair is turning very light and golden, I'm hoping he gets cute blonde hair like his daddy had when he was little! :)
I just love being a mom... if I haven't made that clear :)

Thank you so much God for everything you have given me. Thank you Jesus, for your amazing sacrifice that has made all of this possible. Daily, I am brought to tears to see your grace and mercy.

For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen
Romans 11:36